Welcome to the second New Spirit News!

New Speakers for the 2012 New Spirit Festival

Organiser Chris Cooper

We are moving back to summer!  The change in dates from our previous April/May event to  25 & 26 February, means it is a very busy time for us.  Stand bookings are coming in, and the Seminar Programme is coming together with some excellent Speakers and topics.  TV medium and healer Jeanette Wilson joins us for the first time, and we welcome Joan Berry, an international speaker on our ‘miraculous potential’.  Sally Stockwell is an actress, singer and performer with a love of world music, and presents a seminar in which you will learn two songs, one a South African freedom chant!  Prolific NZ writer Richard Webster presents ‘Dream & Spirit Animals’, and Julienne Rose will help you ‘Free Your Mind from Limiting Beliefs’. 

These are just a few of our 40 Seminar presenters.  Watch the Seminar Programme as is becomes complete on our website, see our Visitors Guide, exhibitor list, and profiles of our Guest Speakers.  The New Spirit Festival is at the Harbour Function Centre at the North Harbour Stadium in Albany, Auckland.  Saturday hours are 1pm – 6pm for the expo, and entry is free!  Sunday hours are 8.30am – 7pm, for the expo and the 40 seminars.  The door charge is $25, which gives you free entry to all Seminars – no need to book!.  See you there!  www.thebigevent.co.nz

 

The Stars in November & December

Christine Broadbent

October 27...Scorpio New Moon rings the changes.
New Moon offers a special connection between Water and Fire elements bringing talents and creative solutions to the fore. Then October 29 repeats a helpful Jupiter/Pluto link that began in July 2011 and goes through until mid March 2012. Networks really matter now and it is helpful to look back to July for clues as to what should be nurtured long term.

November 11...11/11/11 - A Special Date for Full Moon in Taurus
This rare numerology only occurs in certain time zones. (Occurs Nov 10 in Europe and USA.) Natural Earth magic is particularly potent now and this is a special celebration time. Attending to deeper emotional layers goes hand in hand with renewed physical sensitivity.

November 12 to 23…Flow On
Mars in Virgo takes Earth energy to the next level as it works with Jupiter and Pluto, to manage and plan practical goals. Benefits of your focused efforts now are likely to extend to mid May 2012. One likely social aspect is new attention given to old traditions and sacred places. Sudden revelations and secret dealings are also part of the Uranus/Pluto theme of our time. In the Capricorn country of Australia, sacred places may be eyed off as mining sites, with popular uprisings against this, between now and May 2012.

November 25...Sagittarius New Moon and Partial Solar Eclipse
November 25 begins the second eclipse period for 2011, which gives a fated feel to the events of this time, as if they are part of a longer unfolding. Confusion or uncertainty may figure since a restless energy prevails due to a Mars ‘square’. Wait for clarity before acting. November 28 to 30 clears the cobwebs but keeping plans small is a good idea. See below.

November 24 to December 14, 2011...Mercury Retro Go-Slow Biz Cycle
Also in sunny Sagittarius, searching for new ideas, is Communication planet Mercury…yet Mercury is in backward motion, relative to Earth, looking back not forward. Needless to say this changes things and the best innovation may really be recycled information. The tricky part is that projects started now may fizzle out quickly. November 27 to December 5 speeds up emotions but actually needs to be taken slowly, since more is at stake than it seems. Research can effectively reveal the flaws that need to be polished, in these three weeks. 

December 11... Full Moon and Total Lunar Eclipse in Gemini
Quite a lunar climax is this one! To view it’s a late night or early rise: the Moon is exactly eclipsed around 3:30am in NZ well after midnight in most of Aus, sneaking in before midnight in WA. Yet the show begins much earlier, since the Moon disappears in slow bites, reappearing the same way.

Enjoy the airy convivial energy and fiery enthusiasm. The many changes of mind this month are shown to have a common thread at Full Moon. Focus on making an inspiring idea or goal practical. Willpower follows imagination.

astroha@bigpond.com

 

How to Consult a Medium for Best Results

International Psychic Medium Reverend Stephen A. Hermann

Many people fail to realize when coming to a psychic medium for a session that they have much to do with creating the conditions necessary for obtaining the best possible results. The following are some pointers for making your session with a medium a rewarding experience.

Love and enthusiasm create a psychic atmosphere conducive to obtaining good results.

Be open to what comes through. The fact that a person has passed over does not necessarily mean that they are ready or able on their own to come through. People who expect or demand that things be done a certain way may actually ruin the atmosphere and make the process much more difficult.

It is important to be on time when consulting a medium. Rushing to the session or arriving late with a tense or harried state of mind will do little to assist the delicate process.

Preparation through prayer and meditation prior to the session is essential for the best results. Invite your spirit loved ones and guardians to be with you during the session.

Never “feed” the medium or provide information about yourself or people you want to contact in the spirit world. The best mediums never ask the people they are working with to questions such as “Is your mother in spirit?” or “Does anyone on this side of the room know someone who passed with the initial J?” The bottom line when going to a medium is tell them absolutely nothing. Let them tell you.

As you are part of the session your participation is essential. If you are unsure of what the medium is talking about, ask for further clarification without revealing information about yourself. A simple “yes” or “no” is sufficient. Don’t just sit there being confused.

When consulting a medium it is wise to tape record the session or at least take good notes for future reference. Often we may not recognize the people coming through, as they may not be the people we might expect to come through or, in many cases, even physically have known or been close to. This is especially true if we do not know our family tree well. Information not understood at the time of the session ought to be able to be validated.

Always approach spirit communication with an open, yet questioning mind. Never let yourself be gullible and believe everything purported to be channeled from the spirit world. People claim to channel ascended masters, space aliens, and even penguins. Besides the massive amount of fraudulence found within the field, there is a fine line between genuine mediumistic communication and the delusion of sincere people who cannot distinguish their own imagination from true psychic impressions. If it sounds like science fiction it probably is.

Highly acclaimed for his detailed and accurate mediumship, the Reverend Stephen Hermann is a world famous medium.  Based in Auckland, Stephen travels extensively teaching and demonstrating spirit communication and spiritual healing.  For more information about Stephen and his work worldwide visit:  www.stevehermannmedium.com or contact him directly at steveradhe@gmail.com

 

11:11:11 and All That!

Sylvia Shanti Vowless QSM

We are in the exciting time of shifts in humanity’s consciousness and many sensitives are feeling higher energies coming to earth, peaking at various times such as on this year’s November 11th alignment termed the 11:11:11 and again in December next year.  But it’s well to remember that ALL energy is neutral in its effect, being neither ‘good’ for us or ‘bad.’  What it does do however is to amplify the focus and intent both collectively and individually that’s created through our thoughts, intentions and feelings, whether deliberately or ‘by default’.  

The amazing power of intention has been well researched and tested over the past decades proving the benefits that we can achieve (“The Intention Experiment” by Lynne McTaggart documents this well).  When we set an intention a current of energy is created.  Whether or not it achieves its goal depends upon how clearly we direct it and hold our focus of attention, otherwise it simply dissipates.  When a number of people hold the same intent and focus then of course the results are hugely increased.   So to get maximum benefit from any influx of energies we can intend to act as receivers, transformers and then transmitters. 

In the spiritual sense this is what the 11:11:11 is all about to many working to serve humanity, all life and earth itself.  This is why many Lightworkers will be gathering in groups around the world with the intention of grounding and transmitting energies of Light for the highest good of all creation.  At New Zealand’s 11:11:11 Celebration of Light we have the privilege of starting off the day’s energy current or vortex of positive, loving intent and setting in motion its  transmission around the globe, in a sense acting as stewards of the first 11:11:11 Light!

So what is this connection with Light?  The most obvious one is that the spiritual numerical code for the word ‘light’ is 11 which is known as a ‘Master Number,’ meaning it signifies a greater potential than usual.  The word ‘Spirit’ totals 1 which appears doubled when written as an 11.  Thus in Esoteric Numerology the Master Number 11 represents ‘God’ or ‘Spirit’ (1) added to the world (10), symbolizing  the bringing of Light to humanity.  It also represents great idealism which needs to be brought down and made practical and useful, desiring a better world, selfless service, and harmonizing our lives – wonderful intents to aim for!  However, just to help us keep our feet on the ground it’s also worth remembering that in this universe of polarities there are also negative connotations that appeal to the ego such as illusion, fanaticism, misuse of power, and personal ambition.

What can we each do to help uplift humanity – and ourselves - during this global focus?  In order to be the clearest possible receptors and therefore transmitters we can first bring ourselves into our highest resonance by focusing on loving kindness, compassion, harmony, peace and joy.  Living by the Buddha’s formula cannot be bettered – that of living by “Right thought, right word and right action”.  Then we can create the intent to join our energies with others of like-mind to ‘beam’ the higher light of love and unity to our human family around the world, to all life-forms and to earth itself for the greatest good of all.  Rather than focusing on what we see as best for others, it’s preferable to focus on whatever is for the highest good.  This is because we must always remember that every person on the planet has their own free-will, personal soul journey and karma which needs to be honoured and respected.  Even the Spiritual  Hierarchy never directly interfere by imposing their will on humanity for we are each Sovereign Souls with the gift of personal choice.  Let’s enjoy this opportunity for unity consciousness – “Carpe Deum!”

Details of the NZ 11:11:11 Celebration of Light please contact the Organiser Sylvia – P 09 473 8817  E:  sjv3@xtra.co.nz  W:  www.melchizedekacademy.com

 

Forrestal Lodge, Taranaki Haven!

Jeanette Wilson

TV Medium Jeanette Wilson from TV3's Dare to Believe has recently set up her own healing centre and retreat in Inglewood, Taranaki. Taking a break from touring with her two shows Spirit Messages and Spirit Healing Jeanette has dedicated the past few months to establishing a place where people can go to get well or simply take time out. Jeanette explains that"Healing is very often about wholing - reconnecting with parts of ourselves or memories we have denied or ignored - I wanted to create a place that people could go to when they needed to heal be it physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually."

Forrestal Lodge is the culmination of this dream. It is situated about 15 minutes from New Plymouth and 15 minutes from Mount Taranaki. It has beautiful gardens with views to the mountain and is very accessible situated on State Highway 3a ten minutes from the airport. The accommodation is homely and affordable with facilities where guests can prepare their own food or bring food in. An organic community garden is planned for next year with the produce from this going to guests staying at the Lodge and the local food bank that is already established on the site.

Although best known for her work as a medium those who have read Jeanette's books will know that healing has always been her most important work. The team of guides that she works with achieve amazing results on everything from backs and shoulders to more life threatening conditions. Jeanette finds it difficult sometimes to explain how a healing is achieved she simply witnesses that it happens. “I hold a space for the entities to work through me. They move my hands and often my whole body. They produce sound and vibration through me. It is truly beautiful work and the results are extraordinary.” A long list of testimonials from satisfied clients show that Jeanette gets results and that the results are long-lasting.You can get the chance to see Jeanette and her guides in action at the 2012 New Spirit Festival.

Some early visitors to the Lodge have been two Tibetan Buddhist Monks from the Jam Tse Dhargyey Ling Monastery in Whangarei. The venerable Geshe Jamyang Sherab and the venerable Karma Gyasey have spent a couple of weeks at Forrestal Lodge creating a Chenzerig sand mandala. Chenzerig is the Buddha of love and compassion and the sand mandala is an architectural representation of Chenzerigs dwelling place. The mandala is constructed entirely of sand and takes 10 days to complete. Once complete the spirit of Chenzerig is invited to enter the mandala and thereafter every grain of sand is considered a grain of compassion. The monks consider that as we view the mandala a grain of compassion is seeded in our hearts and through this Chenzerig brings more peace and harmony into this world.  A perfect opening for the new centre.

Jeanette runs classes in meditation, personal development, psychic development and healing in addition with working with people one to one for guidance and healing. For more about Jeanette and her work see www.jeanettewilson.com and for more about the new healing centre see www.forrestal.co.nz

 

Music is the Sacred Catalyst

Robert Hayward

‘Music, so incredibly present in our day to day existence,

has yet another profoundly sacred face to offer to us

one so little known and even less understood…

Robert James Haywood, knows very well that...’

I have read with interest in recent copies of Theosophia, a number of understandings, wisdoms and experiences surrounding the incredible relationship we human beings have with music.   Like some others, I am privileged to be of service to my fellow travellers through yet another wisdom of music, one that appears little known and even less understood.

Firstly, let me state clearly that working with music in support of our earthly journey and continuing evolution is actually about working sacredly with energy -sound, frequency, vibration.  It is not about what our personality may decide is ‘nice’ or ‘not so nice’ music.   Of course we have this incredible connection with music because we are also sound, frequency and vibration!   Although it is generally well accepted that music can have an extremely beneficial effect upon us, in its ability to promote relaxation and the easing of the stresses that so often get on top of us; to one such as me, this is akin to placing a band-aid upon a large open wound with the fervent hope it may heal it.

This also brings up a consideration of just what ‘healing’ may actually be, and whether or not this definition is up for a little evolutionary progression in understanding.   We have traditionally tended to assign the term to the outcome of an  absence of a previously manifested disease or condition, due to some external intervention such as a chemical or other agent, or internal experience, such as meditation or change of lifestyle.   In reality, such interventions may indeed mask   previously manifested symptoms or conditions, but has healing actually taken place simply because these manifestations have disappeared? 

LAYERS OF RESPONSE AND REACTION: Firstly, let me differentiate between ‘response’ and ‘reaction’, in a way that the dictionaries do not.   For the sake of this offering, a response to a piece of music is a totally in the moment, in the ‘now’ feeling, that is unclouded and uncontrolled by the journey to date.   Reaction to a piece of music in when the energetic buttons are pushed within us and it becomes a catalyst for the movement of energy (memory or blocked energy or unresolved emotional issue), often with some degree of discomfort and emotion, but it is definitely a ‘not in this present moment’ experience.

So we will look at some of these layers available to us when listening, and start with being receptive to the touch of the music, and sitting and listening in an increasingly relaxed (because we love it) state ~ some will call this a meditative state, some will call it blissful, and some will even gently fall asleep to it, if it is a particularly gentle energy of music.   In a slightly more energetic response, we may feel inspired to move our body to the music in a form of free dance, and hence we are starting to include creative self-expression in our response to this piece of music.   This adds another layer ~ one that is particularly useful and powerful to those involved in the arts, which would include writers, poets, painters, songsters and other affiliated disciplines or non-disciplines of creative expression.   Music is a powerful catalyst for moving the energy  referred to as ‘writer’s block’, which is simply a breakdown in the flow of creative energies and inspirations from within each of us.

Now we approach the nuts and bolts reality, the most powerful other face of music.   This is the face that offers powerful, sacred nurturing and support of our inner journey to not only understand ourselves better, but to discover in a gentle and respectful way those energies that we still carry, that are really no longer appropriate to our current journey and where we may be seeking to go.   So when this piece of music plays, it may be  the catalyst for the movement of an internal energy blockage (you know that locked room or strongbox within each of us that we store our ‘stuff’ in) and offers to us a conscious realisation of an energetic experience or disharmony within the body, that is still being carried within the body.   It matters not if the event was forty-five years or forty-five days ago; it matters not if the ‘event’ was traumatic or joyful for we are as apt to chain ourselves to the previous ‘good’ times as well as the ‘bad’ ~ both can be equally disruptive and withhold us from reaching our potential and goals, dreams and desires..

 Consider this scenario in relation to your own personal journey.   You are driving to work, or to the shops or some such totally inconvenient time and that piece of music comes on - you know the one, the one that takes you back to…. -  and your heart goes sad, your knees go weak and in the nano second before you start berating yourself for being so ‘silly’ over something that happened so long ago, you feel the sadness of that tragedy in your journey, powerfully and very in the now.   I am going to state to you, very clearly, that this experience has been and is a blessing.    Your Inner Essence has just revealed to you an energy of an experience of the past - an unresolved issue - that still resides within the body.  This is a powerful, sacred and very wise ’please pay attention to this’ from Divine Essence within, of an issue still residing energetically in the body - needing to be addressed.

 The single most important thing to be shared with you today, is that when we react to a piece of music - wherever possible - give it expression.  Write it, draw it, free dance it!   Allow it (the disharmonious energy/blockage) to move, to be expressed, and to begin the process of the movement of energy - which is what ‘healing’ really is.

The second most important thing to be shared with you is that this, of necessity, cannot be an intellectual exercise of the reasoning mind. This is a feeling experience and therefore its power to effect great and profound personal change takes place at a deep level within us, far beyond the limitations of the reasoning mind, a wisdom that is indeed threatening to some parts of us, whilst being wholly and enthusiastically embraced by the deeper us.

This is the powerful and sacred therapeutic use of music, that remains today still largely unknown and unacknowledged.   I believe that in the coming times, this wisdom will be more widely accepted as a powerful tool of self development and eventual self realisation.

Robert James Haywood shares his wisdoms gathered over a thirty plus year adventure in metaphysical healing and philosophy and has presented and spoken internationally for some years.  A recently joined member of  the TS , Robert moved from Australia mid 2010 and resides at the south end of Lake Taupo.     He continues his work via public talks at Festivals around NZ, weekend workshops and his books.  He is the author of ‘To Cross the Golden Bridge’, a book of transformational healing wisdom.  Robert Haywood musicshaman@gmail.com

 

Ask Lorraine

Experience seer Lorraine has been helping people for many years, and runs the successful Pentacles psychic line.  We invite you to send us your questions and we will – in complete confidence – get a response from Lorraine and pass it on to you.  We will publish the question and answer, but use a pseudonym – info@thebigevent.co.nz   This request was generated from our mailing list:

Dear NSN:  This year I seem to be plodding along and I wonder is that it?  I had a few doors open last year which made me think - 'yes this is my path' - then they seemed to shut on me before I could enter through.  I now think I have not actually found my path.  What is it I am supposed to be doing that will make my heart sing?

Lorraine replies:

Hi Anthea:   Thanks for your question.  I feel that inner peace eludes you and you will not feel happier until you find at least some measure of this.  It is all a matter of timing and at the moment you need to focus on what it is that makes you feel content.  It could be that getting out into nature is the balance you seek as I feel that the outside energy will lift your spirits.  I don’t feel that you are on the right path yet but neither is it the right time for you to be there until you are in the right place physically and mentally to receive.  There are some exciting changes waiting in the wings for the right time to present themselves.   Around March or April of next year, you will find things move very quickly and it will be like a domino effect, once one thing starts it will lead into the next change and the next.  I am picking up three major changes in your life at this time.  Exciting opportunities await you, it is just a matter of timing.  Use the intervening time to improve self, it will pay off in spades and prepare you for the blessings the Universe is about to bestow on you.  Blessings.  www.pentacles.co.nz "

 

Living in the Shadow of your Family Tree

Kayla Mackenzie-Kopp

What do we do when a child goes off the rails, when a partner wants to leave, or when death or severe illness strike unexpectedly at some family member?   Of course we seek solutions and comfort, but we seldom look at what went on in the past that may be at the root of these upheavals. The suffering is often avoidable.  Why do people get pulled into destructive behavior, almost against their own will?  Why does suicide seem to run in families? Why do children of the same parents often turn out so differently? 

The answers to these questions and the key to resolving them can frequently be found through a sensitive understanding of the past.  Early deaths or difficult fates in former generations may make life a struggle for those that follow. Even former partners can have a major effect.  Fortunately a method has evolved which allows us to make such hidden entanglements very clear, and then adjust them so healing can result. It’s called Constellation Work, although it has nothing to do with the stars – “constellation” here only refers to people who are closely linked. It’s a method which is enormously popular in Europe, where I trained.

 With this approach it becomes clear that behind the obvious emotional ties that exist between family members there lies a network of energy of a more basic nature, a sort of systemic conscience, or soul conscience. If its pattern is violated, and if its energy is not honoured and restored to harmony, it can lead to deep suffering whose origin normally goes unrecognized. This systemic energy field can cause one generation to continue the destructive patterns laid down in a former one, and can cause people to unconsciously live out fates which are not their own.

I use Constellation Work in 1-day workshops called “Getting Sorted”. Only one family member need attend, but the “ripple effect” often spreads to others.  During a “Getting Sorted” workshop, participants have the opportunity to make the unconscious energy field of their family visible as if on a stage. Other members of the group represent chosen family members and take part in the healing transformation of the pattern. A deeply moving release of entangled energy and false identification occurs.

 It is hard for anyone who has not yet worked in this way to imagine how the representatives know just what the reactions of actual members of the family would be. But they do, with uncanny accuracy. It would seem that through the thoughtful placing of these people, they connect intuitively with "the knowing field", and feel and react as the people they are representing would, even if the people may already be dead.  For the trained eye, it becomes clear from the positioning and from the responses of the representatives, where the disharmony is, and who is in a particularly endangered or stressful position. Missing family members can be added, and the participants can be regrouped step by step until a harmonious new constellation has been formed. This new inner picture can have the strength to heal the wounds.

Kayla’s next “Getting Sorted” workshop will be held on Waiheke Island on 6th Nov from 10 a.m. till about 5 p.m. Transport from and to the ferry will be supplied for people coming from Auckland.  Contact 09 – 372 3003, or Kayla@kaylahealing.com    www.kaylahealing.com

 

Yoga & Stillness

Swami Muktidharma

The ultimate purpose of all the yoga practices is to attain stillness. Only when we are totally still can we experience and realise our true self.  Being still relates to the body, mind and spirit. The physical yoga that most people have experienced is only a preliminary practice to ready us for meditation.  Meditation leads to the ultimate inner silence, giving us the capacity to experience our soul.

We usually have the idea that in order to become physically still, we have to tense our bodies.  In yoga science, real stillness is a result of total relaxation.  “Learning to relax is the first step.  Those who are able to relax the subtle personality are the true meditators; the true yogis.” Swami Niranjanananda. When we are relaxed, there is a natural cessation of movement in the body and eventually the mind. If we try to achieve physical stillness by force, restlessness is still evident, which causes internal harm. The whole purpose of yoga asanas is to achieve stillness in our bodies.  In fact the real meaning of the word asana is: a steady and perfect posture in which we can remain comfortably for a long period of time.  All the movements and postures of hatha yoga aim to prepare us to meditate without breaking the flow of energy by the instability and restlessness of the bodily systems.  The different yoga postures will make our bodies very relaxed, which is essential for successful meditation.

Stillness of the body influences stillness of the mind by stimulating, purifying and balancing the energy systems within our physical bodies.  Body flexibility and good physical health are not the goal of yoga.  Of course, we achieve them, but they are byproducts instead of the final destination.  After attaining physical stillness with hatha yoga, we practice raja yoga ( mental techniques) to obtain mental stillness, which eventually leads us to total stillness of our beings, so that we can realise our own true self.  An oscillating and restless mind cannot perceive the reality of our souls.  Just as the full moon is not reflected properly in the surface of a restless river, our inner reality cannot be realised with a restless mind. 

Mental stillness is only possible when we go beyond the influence of our thought identification and conditioning.  We cannot force mental stillness.  By trying to force it, we suppress our emotions and tendencies, which increases our mental restlessness. If there is no mental relaxation, we cannot find mental stillness.  Mental relaxation comes through a process of observation and disidentification from the programmed and conditioned mind.  The more we try to control the mind, the wilder it will become.  The traditional religions teach us to control the mind by sheer will power.  The ancient yogic and tantric techniques help us to gradually observe the mind instead of fighting it.  Our minds are constantly moving and making noise, as a result of accumulation of impressions that we receive via the senses.  We have become slaves and victims of our own minds.  In the eastern culture there have been powerful traditions of mastery of the mind.  Until today, this legacy has been able to survive, keeping genuine teachings and training in tact.  Western society will gradually realise that materialistic perfection is not the purpose of life. 

In this context the practice of asana places a very important role for achieving physical stillness. The body requires a certain degree of flexibility and relaxation in order to experience its stillness. Asana stimulate and relax the nervous system and the brain, freeing the body from toxins and energy blocks, and balances it. This is a very important requisite for achieving physical stillness as a foundation for deeper stillness. Deeper practices like pranayama and kaya stairyam are necessary for completing the total stillness of our whole being.  Stillness does not mean that everything will become paralyzed.  A still mind is the source of the greatest creativity.  For it is only when we become still, that we enter into communion with the mysteries of existence. 

 

The Healing Power of Relationships

Shari Rhodes

Intimate relationships provide the opportunity for deep growth and learning.  They serve as a mirror of the deeper issues and feelings within us. Growth is accelerated in relationships because they highlight those hidden aspects of ourselves that we are unable to see on our own.  The perfect partner isn’t the one we are looking for, but the one we are with right now.  Our partner is a reflection of ourselves.

 Intimate relationships are scripted or predestined to present at a certain time to work through specific life lessons.  Many of us have a unique life script or “soul Contract” involving a predestined choreography to be played out with a partner to uncover emotional blockages that inhibit full self-love, understanding and acceptance.   There are three possibilities of the prescripted path.  Some people are meant to walk alone and work through their lessons independently. Some are destined to have a life partner or series of significant mates, but choose to avoid intimacy or commitment in order to not experience the confrontational emotional material that relationships often bring up.  And for many of us, the partner is placed is the front position to reflect and uncover the emotional terrain (the pain, anger, fear, rage, jealously, passion, resentment, defenses, etc) that serve to keep us from embracing our full true self.

These “blind spots” are often reflected in what bothers us most about our partners.  Sometimes he or she will push at the wall protecting old hurts, the internal places where we feel grief, shame, anger, vulnerability, fear and fragility.  At times, we deny our feelings and push against our partner with arguments and conflict to keep that wall in place.  Other times, the wall will crack open and we feel unhinged and exposed and want to shut down and hide again. Relationships are a repetitive process of opening and closing, challenging us to feel more fully the whole range of emotions and their corresponding issues and traumas.  It sometimes becomes a power struggle between defenses when the vulnerable places have become hit and recognized, placed in full view.  It is easy to externalize blame and project all sorts of “crimes and misdemeanors” onto our partner”. We get angry that the rubbish wasn’t put out, the bills haven’t been paid, we don’t get enough support with the housework or the kids, and she/he doesn’t listen, isn’t emotionally available or doesn’t understand.  It becomes all too comfortable to externalize blame outside ourselves and make the other person wrong for not giving us what we want.  We want to feel safe and defend against what hurts and doesn’t always want to be seen.  We may storm and rage, focus on anything but that which confronts and threatens the fragilities and hurts of the vulnerable inner child who has been hurt in the past.  We fight against opening when we don’t trust or feel safe. 

Relationships can push at us to challenge our sense of ourselves, comfort zones and the protective image of who we think we are.  Relationships hit again and again at those contracting walls of self-preservation.  However in the protection, we close off and are often left feeling dejected, frustrated and unsatisfied.  By objectifying the issue and not looking back at our own relational patterns and behaviors, we lose the opportunity to gain self-awareness about why we shut down. Staying hidden behind our defenses and walls, we stay closed to the deeper connection.

Many of us carry unintegrated emotional traumas that are stored on a cellular and physical level.  We learn about relationship and what we think we are entitled to by modeling what we learned as children growing up.  For some of us, growing up was a delight, a series of fond memories filled with encouragement and fun.  With the validation and nurture of healthy and high functioning parents, they have been able to build self-esteem and thereby create nurturing relationships that don’t push so hard at the inner wounds. These types of relationships tend to flow easier, are emotionally lighter, have clearer communication and don’t require as much conflict to resolve issues.  However for many of us, our childhoods were not so clear cut or easy.  Many of us had to face some kind of difficulty or disappointment that let us down.  For example, if our parents were emotionally unavailable, shut down, critical, abusive, alcoholic or simply not there, we can internalize that we are unworthy of love and emotional support.  We believe we can’t rely on others for support. We may shut down a part of ourselves.  We may not feel safe sharing our innermost vulnerability and authentic selves with another. Some of us may feel the need to protect that fragile inner child and try to be strong and independent.  Many may not feel safe disclosing the deepest parts of themselves from the old hurts growing up.

However traumas are not forgotten, but rather stored in some other place lying dormant until the next emotional trigger causes all the associated feelings to resurface. Often the conclusions we make as children, in response to how our parents treated us, are what we later create in our relationships as adults. By becoming aware of our emotional issues and the unmet needs as a child, we can gain insight about the blind spots (areas where we don’t feel safe to show and express ourselves) and where we are still stuck not receiving the nourishment we want.  It is hard to see within ourselves where those blocked areas of development are. If there is a particular trauma from the past such as physical, emotional or sexual abuse, often we get stuck at the time of the occurrence of the trauma which is referred to as a “Frozen Need”. What manifest is a re-creation and re-triggering of the same emotional response of the wounded child as the adult in the adult relationship. For instance from a past with an alcoholic father who left the child at eight, she may re-create repeat dynamics with emotionally unavailable men dealing with addiction who cant make a commitment.  Until the trauma is released and cleared from the body, the old traumas will resurface again and again in relationship.  If the issue is not dealt with in one relationship, the same issue will present in the next and continue to repeat itself until resolved.

 Models for relationship and abusive scenarios are carried down through the family lineage.  We learn old behavioral patterns that have been repeating themselves through generations.  It is quite common for patterns of discipline or abuse to be repeated down the geological line. The abused child then becomes the abusive parent, the alcoholic father becomes the alcoholic son or our parents were shut down so the children become shut down and on it goes. The cycle continues.  We observe our parents style of relating and model their behavior as our own also carrying the values down the line.  However we have the opportunity with self- awareness to change those patterns and instilled family dynamics, thus breaking the cycle of learned behavior.  We can discover healthier ways of relating.  It is important to recognize our partner’s behavior and the feelings that come up.  We can learn about ourselves from the reflection.

Unless we choose to take responsibility for our choices and what manifest on our life screen, we will remain stuck in old repetitive patterns and not grow.  We can only heal the past through honest self-reflection by taking full responsibility for the creation of the interactive dynamics that have been set up.  By being willing to face ourselves squarely in the mirror, owning our own creations, we can then look at our behavior and make another choice.  We don’t have to accept the reflection of our old wounded selves or limited relationships that don’t nourish all of who we are.  Some people recognize that the relationship isn’t working, but choose to over stay because they are afraid of being alone, losing the financial or emotional security of their partner being there or they don’t have the resources, knowledge or confidence to feel they can make it on their own. Many don’t believe there is anything else or better.  The relationship, even if it’s abusive, is all they know and they don’t know how to move on.  Many people get stuck and don’t know a way through.  However reaching out for the right support such as talking to a counselor, clergy or friend, it is possible to make a stand and choose to let go of the past and re-create anew.  We can move past the old patterns and not allow relationships in that no longer serve our highest growth. We can make healthier choices and perhaps say no the next time an abusive or non-supportive potential mate comes along. By being conscious of our patterns and learning to love ourselves more fully, we can choose higher functioning relationship that fills more of our needs.

 We block the fullness of intimacy by not feeling deserving or worthy of having the whole lot. Some of us fear that if we were really seen in our secret vulnerable place that maybe he/she wont love me, or think we are intelligent, sexy or good enough.  We all have fears, blocks and resistances and push against claiming life’s full abundance.  Many men and women deal with self-esteem and body image issue and don’t feel attractive, sexy or safe opening fully sexually. Many people shut down their natural instinctive sexual responses for fear of being rejected, making too much noice or not being good enough to be fully loved up just as they are. Many don’t feel safe opening. They may not trust and manifest blockages in their bodies to shut down.  However it is everyone’s birthright to feel fully loved.  Intimacy provides the opportunity to go deeper into ourselves and share our vulnerability and secrets with another, to let go and allow the spontaneous outpouring of ourselves.  We don’t give ourselves permission let our passions out and experience ecstasy.

Many of us learn values from our families, teachers, culture, media and religion that it is not ok to claim our voice and make noise, that it is taboo, wrong, selfish, dirty, not adult or dangerous to loose control and have our authentic selves be fully seen by another.  Many of us shy away, sabotage the relationship, put on weight, yell at our partners and create all kinds of reasons why its not ok to let it all out, open, spark, and come out to play.  It is a risk and takes great courage to be naked, not only in body, but with all of our emotions, to share ourselves, our anger, agony, joy, passion, sadness, laughter and to let our true voice out.  It takes trust to make sound and express the bestial, more wild and decadent parts of ourselves, to be fully touched, witnessed and seen. It can be frightening to open our skin in front of another and allow ourselves to be held with no image, protection or defense.

However this is a vital part of life to be able to open and share fully and authentically with another, to be present, naked and open in the moment giving our beloved permission to see and reflect back the mirror of our true selves, to witness the unseen aspects of our inner selves. It’s about exposing raw emotion and being ok.  Ways to enhance intimacy in partnership include tantra sexuality, massage, yoga, meditation, creativity, couples and personal counseling, workshops, nature walks, traveling, going out on dates, self help books for couples, holding each other, quality time and open communication.  Making the choice to share your innermost secrets and feelings with your partner can deepen the connection and heal of hurts that have stayed locked inside for too long.

Even though the romantic fantasy picture of finding the “white knight in shining armor” and having the perfect relationship sounds wonderful, the reality of relationships is that they can be hard work.  Though they have many wonderful bits, often they involve moving from one challenge to the next and working through points of tension and conflict.  Life challenges present where there is unexpected redundancy and the mortgage has to be paid, a child or partner gets ill or disabled, there’s a death in the family, the car breaks down, hormones change, an accident happens, the unexpected crisis occurs and stress is triggered.  Life can be unpredictable and precarious at best.  We never know what is going to happen around the bend.    These life challenges can create havoc in relationship placing even more stress on holding the intimate connection together.  Yet somehow we must go on.  It is not easy.  Sometimes we are pushed to our limits.  However as difficult as life challenges can be sometimes, circumstances provide the opportunity of deepening spiritually and discovering our own internal strength, tenacity and courage.  We build character. Relationships then become about the journey, rather than the goal itself. The challenge is accepting this and learning to be ok with the hard stuff, recognizing that too is part of the process of learning more about ourselves.  Challenging circumstances push and pull at us and can throw us off-centre, but by choosing to become conscious and stand back as a witness to what’s happening rather than losing ourselves in the drama, we can gain greater perspective and clarity as to how to move through.  The truth is - life isn’t perfect.  Relationships aren’t perfect. We are not perfect.  Couples need to communicate and work together to ride the turbulent waves of life.

It is our birthright to celebrate our magnificent selves and fully express all of who we are in our relationships.  Healing is about integrating all aspects of ourselves and allowing full expression.  Many of us feel more comfortable showing certain parts of ourselves like our strong self-sufficient and independent side over vulnerability and emotion.  However its important to allow the spontaneous flow of expression naturally with no barriers or control, trusting all parts of ourselves and celebrating all of who we are.  It’s about forgiving ourselves for our experiences or choices in the past recognizing that we are human.  Life is only a game, a series of experiences for our growth and learning.  There are no mistakes.  It’s ok to forgive ourselves.  We are all doing the best we can.  At the end of the day, it’s about putting the past stories down and living our life as fully as we can, letting go of the self-beat up.  It’s about seeing the beautiful soul that we are, loving ourselves and recognizing that we are deeply loved and loveable just as we are and that is enough.

Shari Rhodes has been an international Medical Intuitive Reader for the past 25 years.  She is now a citizen of both the United States and New Zealand.  Shari’s purpose is to support people to grow and move forward in a positive direction with greater clarity, self-empowerment and self-confidence.  She has offered readings, workshops and public talks internationally and continues to reach out to the public.  Shari is available for sessions in person and over the phone and for public talks in the community or at private functions.  Ph 027-629-5469  home@sharirhodes.com    www.intuitivereadings.co.nz

 

Walking In The Sacred Landscape - Part 2

Gary Cook

We were a party of twenty or more, drawn together from many different places around the world, bringing to the group a special dynamic of earth reading, dowsing, ancient wisdom and a desire to explore that previously only known to the few. Accompanying us on this visit was the Kaitiaki {Guardian) of the past 40 years, Dr Bill Harrison. An Elder of immense spiritual proportions, he would share much with us on this day. We drove to a great height in the hills behind Motueka arriving at a boulder-strewn plateau with incredible site lines to distant mountains and sea horizons. Stone stood beside stone, much weathered by nature over countless thousands of years. But within the natural outcrops we were to be shown the handiwork of people of the distant past.

And there, dominating the site and standing on a lower flat atop a large base of grass covered stone was the object of our visit, the Gregrose Stone, a very large granite boulder standing more than 7 foot high. The late Hamish Miller, the renowned dowser from Cornwall was paying a second visit to the site giving us all an opportunity to witness the phenomena that occurs in many powerful energy sites in New Zealand. We were to see firsthand the response of a dormant energy place responding to human acknowledgment. Hamish has commented that the immediate and powerful response to the dowsing of many places in New Zealand make them unique in the world and far more energetic than many ancient sites in England and Europe.

Upon our arrival, Hamish dowsed the major stone to find that the energy had more than doubled from the first visit almost twelve months ago. The first dowsing of the day showed 48 radial lines emanating from the stone. At a later stage we were all asked to focus our attention on the stone and project our thoughts toward the energy source. The response to this simple, spontaneous proposal was an immense jump in the radial lines to 84.  Here was a clear demonstration of the response to our acknowledgement. All sites that were dowsed in the days following, showed major growth patterns from those of one year ago.  In many cases, there was a progression from the geometrical to the organic, with displays that were not unlike the patterns of a flower. What is the message we are being shown? Is this a communication from within the planet, or from the cosmos? There is much to ponder upon, and we all need to put forward our thoughts on these energetic responses.

The guardian of the stones sat with us, perched on a folding seat, and with sparkling eyes told of the many wonders that had been presented to this wonderful person during the 40-year association with the hill.  I sat in wonder at the stories of a deep connection with the natural world, of many meetings with fairies and elves, devas and nature spirits. I heard of a dialogue that had enlightened Dr Bill to the potential of a re establishment of the natural order that has always existed, but has been in retreat for many years. I heard of the sadness expressed at the damage done to the sacred nature of the forests and gardens of the world, and of the withdrawal of these ethereal creatures to the safety of the mountains and the deep forests. Our storyteller is very much an ambassador for the nature spirits and the story given on this day shows that these essential connections can be re-established. And with knowledge and understanding, recognition and communication we can work in harmony and offer support to these essential spirits in their most important works. Many within our party on that day had very personal and often mystifying encounters with the unseen. From the classic, peripheral vision sighting of a figure or a movement, to a full on experience. A couple from England who are very involved in remote viewing opened a connection to others with the ability back home. The young North American folk with us had significant experiences that reinforced the universal nature of these energies and entities with similar responses they had in the deserts and mountains of Southern California.  And as we descended from the hills, the guardian/elder took us to a place of immense magic to share in an ongoing relationship with the world of the Nature Spirits.

The journeys that the elder had undertaken for those many years had always commenced by crossing a spring fed stream. And every time the crossing was made Dr Bill was greeted by a Water Sprite, whose shimmering form stood on the opposite bank with one hand on a Ponga tree trunk.  The elder had many enlightening moments in the company of this light being. Four of us went to the crossing place and were shown the area in which the visitation always occurred.  There was a cry of joy, and gasp of emotion as the elder indicated the spot and told we four that the Water Sprite stood in the same place. The Ponga tree had gone.

And as the elder gazed intently at a place on the opposite bank, we all opened ourselves to the experience. I allowed my vision to go out of focus, but could not see any shape or form. Then, within my lower peripheral vision I had a flare of bright green light that extended from the lower bank of the stream, across the water to my feet. I held the light image for as long as I could without blinking my eyes, allowing it to vanish when I eventually had to blink.  What had I seen? The others who shared in the moment spoke quietly of their feelings of a presence. The elder was delighted that we had shared in the 40-year wonder of this special place. I was told that indeed the colour of the Sabrina Water Sprite was a bright green changing to a turquoise on occasions.

There is so much within this land that borders on the magical, but within the mystical nature of these contacts one is comfortable and reassured with an understanding that all is not lost, but only forgotten. Most of us seem to suffer from a comfortable amnesia that blocks these connections. We have but to remember to regain what is rightfully ours.  When we are touched in this manner, our inner response is one of heartfelt joy and understanding. We may acknowledge a personal guardian angel, but all life on this planet has an elemental that works on the subtle levels to ensure that all living creatures and plants grow and develop in the most natural manner.  The area of greatest concern in this modern age, is that the water and the plant devas are fighting a losing battle against the inroads of the unenlightened.

A Secretland Journey -  gary@secretland.co.nz

 

Back to Nature – a personalised final farewell.

Tamara Linnhoff, Good Funeral Guide NZ

Planning a funeral is an important responsibility that we are all likely to face at some point, whether for a family member or if writing down one’s own wishes in advance.   As the current post-war generation reaches older age, an ever-increasing proportion of funerals are varying from the ‘traditional’ by reflecting the individual’s personality, beliefs and values.   A funeral encompasses many elements, allowing many possibilities to reflect a uniquely individual character, and to extend a belief in sustainable living to the final rite of passage.  

Personalisation and authenticity are the most important developments in today's funerals.  In so many ways, our funerals are now about focusing on getting a full view of the person we're farewelling, to know them intimately, appreciate their uniqueness, and reflect their own personal values. Identity has replaced religion as the main purpose in most contemporary funerals, even religious ones, because we put the individual at the centre of the ceremony, as unique in death as in life.

An often immediate consideration is whether to embalm. In the days before embalming, funerals were often held sooner after death. Whilst laying for a few days in wintertime might be feasible, summer temperatures are likely to prevent this beyond a day. Whilst standard embalming fluids usually contain toxic formaldehydes, funeral directors do have access to natural-based formaldehyde-free preservers.  Cold rooms also mean that if a funeral is to be held soon, embalming might not be necessary, although the family might have to accept a less life-like appearance - for example no artificially rosy cheeks.  For those preferring a family-arranged funeral, it is possible to keep a loved one at home for a few days by ensuring a room is kept cool, and by arranging for a continuous supply of ice-packs. 

An often raised question concerns the relative merits of a cremation compared to a burial. Unfortunately, there is no clear answer.  Chemicals can be released in cremation, or leach into the soil after burial.  Amalgam fillings are the main source of mercury in the body, with mercury also present in body tissues. A 2008 ‘Mercury Inventory’ for the NZ Ministry for the Environment estimated crematoria mercury emissions at 70 kg Hg/year, with 50 kg Hg/year being added to the soil in cemeteries, based on a 60:40 split between cremations and burials. Burning is an instant release, whereas leaching into the soil may take hundreds or thousands of years.  Cremation is more energy intensive in the short term - a standard cremator operates at around 900^oC, for 80 minutes, usually on gas or diesel, with energy used similar to one month’s domestic usage.  Cremation leads to the release of nitrous oxides, carbon monoxide, sulphur dioxide, particulate matter, hydrogen fluoride and more - the United Nations calculated that crematoria contribute to 0.2% of the global emissions of dioxins and furans.  Clearly the emissions of a cremation will vary with the quality of the filtration system and casket burned.  On the other hand, a traditional 6ft deep burial causes ‘rotting’ allowing few nutrients to return to the soil, causes toxic formaldehyde (and mercury) seepage, and larger graves requiring years of maintenance. 

A 2007 Australian ‘Centennial Park’ study compared the carbon emissions of a burial to a cremation.  A traditional 6ft deep burial emits 39kg CO₂ on the day of the burial.  A cremation releases 160kg CO₂.  However burials, due to continued grave maintenance, result in a more CO₂ than cremation in the longer term. So there’s really not much difference. 

Natural burial grounds are becoming common overseas, with over 260 created in the UK in the past 20 years.  Whilst there is no single definition of what constitutes a natural burial, the objectives are widely agreed: that a body will oxygenate and so decompose, returning nutrients to the earth, with no toxic residues leaching into the soil or waterways.  This precludes toxic embalming fluids, and the casket or shroud, liners, and handles must be wholly natural materials.  Social considerations are also important - a tree, a simple stake, or no marker (and simply a GPS reference) is used to locate the grave, and burial sites should require little or no maintenance.  A range of ‘standards’ apply across UK and US natural burial sites. The ‘purest’ end of the spectrum would also require no jewellery, synthetic clothing, imported materials, mercury fillings, or synthetic replacement body-parts.  Clearly this is likely to be a step too extreme for most, and preclude some of those wishing to use a natural ground.  In most grounds, standards are set focusing on what is a reasonable minimisation of chemicals entering the ground with the focus on the type of casket and no embalming fluids to be used.  The UK author Ken West has stated that natural burial encompasses social awareness too, by also considering ‘how can social and environmental benefits be gained from funeral practices’.  In overseas site, the social aspects of a personalised burial site are given equal weight to ecological considerations. 

Closer to home, natural burials sites are available in Wellington and Motueka, with sites elsewhere under consideration.   The NZ version of natural burial is trending towards the more ‘eco’ purist, with less options for social and personal expression.  Given the slower development of natural burial sites in New Zealand, national criteria are yet to be established, and views diverge regarding appropriate standards and the operating model that best serves the local community. Whilst in the UK sites are a variety of public and private operations, most in NZ are (or will be) council owned and operated.  This will ensure the troubles in the UK, such as private landowners ‘closing’ a natural cemetery after only a few years operation, should be avoided. 

Making a casket, or joining together to decorate a casket is becoming more common as a means to join together in a personal offering towards the loved one. Caskets today can be painted, drawn on, printed or messages written directly on the casket. It is becoming common in Germany for a beautiful ribbon to be tied lengthways about the casket, and messages tucked in as people offer final farewells. 

Sustainable product choices are often those which tend towards the more individual, locally made options, rather than commodity produced.    A wide range of caskets and urns are available, from traditional to more modern, from veneered MDF to pure pine and more modern shapes in pine ply, fabrics, and recycled paper or papperboard.  Whether choosing cremation, burial or natural burial, the choice of funeral casket represents an important means to reflect sustainable choices.  The most frequently purchased traditional caskets are made from MDF or chipboard board, often with plastic veneer, polyurethane finish, and plastic ‘metal-look’ handles - all materials that contribute to cremation emissions or burial chemical leaching.  The US Environmental Protection Agency includes casket manufacturers on the Top50 list of hazardous waste generators due to chemicals such as methyl and xylene used in protective spray casket finishes.

Most funeral directors offer natural casket options, and if yours doesn’t carry any in stock, a range of natural casket providers will supply funeral directors across the country.  Natural coffins are made from pure wood, eco-friendly plywood, recycled paperboard, bamboo and wicker.  These are created in New Zealand by small businesses including ourselves (TenderRest) in Wellington, Woodland in Kimbolton, Return to Sender in Auckland and woven wicker caskets from Collingwood and Invercargill.  Shapes encompass both traditional and award winning modern designs, and natural finishes range from simple pine, ply, bamboo, bespoke print options and fabric covered finishes.  Anything from a simple cotton shroud or simple pine casket to a pure wool or luxury linen coated casket can pay tribute to both a unique personality and a respect for the environment.

Funeral considerations can only ever be a personal choice on what is feasible, feels appropriate and dignified. Funeral directors across New Zealand are aware of the need to provide greener options.  A useful site directory of eco-aware funeral homes is included at www.ecofunerals.co.nz.  Some funeral directors will be happy to take care of some more difficult tasks, leaving families to dress the loved one, prepare or decorate a casket, and make the ceremony arrangements. 

As with all rites of passage, funerals reflect the current norms of society.  So whilst the first white settler cremation in Australia caused a national outrage in 1895, cremations have since become completely accepted alongside burials in the western world.  As environmental awareness increases, so will the available greener options for funerals, even in smaller towns. Simply recording your wishes is a means to ensure your family know how you’d your final send off.  As the current 60-something ‘baby-boomers’ age, personalisation of ceremonies and planning ahead is becoming more common, and some people are even choosing to pre-use a casket such as our own bookshelf-conversion option.  My grandfather went so far as to write down all his funeral instructions, including his own amusingly entertaining and deeply touching eulogy.  Further Sources of Information:

Good Funeral Guide NZ www.GoodFuneralGuide.co.nz  | TenderRest www.tenderrest.co.nz  | Natural Death Centre UK - www.naturaldeath.org.uk | NZ Consumer Magazine “Green Funerals”, September 2009 |